I received this in a e-mail and thought I'd share it here.

This person needs a job. This individual seeks an executive available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.
Military
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College
I graduated from Yale University with a low 'C' average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
-- I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
-- I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
-- I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
-- With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
-- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
-- I cut taxes and bankrupted! the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
-- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
-- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT

-- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
-- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
-- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
-- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
-- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.!
-- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
-- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.
-- I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
-- I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President.
-- I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
-- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
-- Under my direction, my political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorney s to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
-- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
-- Thanks to me, more time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating any of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
-- I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
-- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
-- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
-- I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.
-- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy and abuser of civil rights in the history of the United States Government.
-- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
-- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
-- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
-- I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
-- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).
-- I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
-- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. -- After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
-- I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
-- I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
-- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.
-- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
-- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
-- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
-- I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.
-- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES
-- All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
-- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
-- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW AS I REALLY NEED TO FIND A JOB!